drums

My eyes beat on drums made of promises
pound them into being heard
staring into drums I longed for your words to breathe
to live, to honour the beauty of their rhythm and shape.
I beat the drums but hear no music
Unskilled, amateur- I feel defeat.
worried I cannot bring promises to life merely with hope.


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cracked soil

My eyes charcol grey
fingers rich soil awaiting rain.

plants cannot grow in my cracked soil.

please, do not say you must go.

Woman inside quietly sings,

record player always humming the same tune, no words.

the walls look out but do not speak,

  and there is no friendliness to be earned in their presence.



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Spinning through space

I am ashamed, everything stands still.
Stillness is the quality of these days
Cars moving, sidewalks freshly laid down,
Drills outside my ears.
The world moves, rendering me a cripple.
In contrast, motion is senseless.
We are spinning through space,
Seeing no one, talking to no one.
A ball of dirt and water, heated by the sun.
Stillness envelopes me.
I cringe.


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Circle

Colourful and bright,
Childhood and the sunshine, playing together.
Wash after wash, colours start to fade.
Children grow and the sun withers into night.
Toys abandonned in the yard.
Strangers walk past, no one wondering what happened.


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Something beautiful

Something beautiful.

A dog chasing it's tail
My mothers eyes
My father making up lyrics to songs
Dan's maniacal laugh
George
Alina's soul
Encouragement from friends
Anita's crazy (crazy being a noun)
Pictures of Alex and I in Phillie
Love so strong it makes you cry
Knowing nothing lasts forever, so it's all gonna be fine.


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men of my life

the men of my life

have torn me down, stomped on me, loved me, laughed with me, beraded me, controlled me, nurtured me, created me, caressed me, held me, astonished me, pained me, defiled me, respected me, taught me, stained me, blamed me, ignored me, devoured me, worshipped me, gifted me, confined me, punished me, tickled me, desired me, read me, hated me, inspired me, lost me, rejected me, upset me, lifted me, valued me, fucked me, kissed me, forgot me, twisted me, adored me, acknowledged me, thanked me, enraged me, blessed me, left me, breathed me, drank me, fought me, drained me, revived me.
---------------------------------------------

Words for thought. That's all.


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Contortion.

My body, disfigured and stuck.
I am afraid to collapse on health's doorstep in such a state. My fingers warped and my arms burned. Hip twisted, legs joyless rods, useless for walking.
A sculpture, a monument to lovelessness.
Too afraid to crawl to release, to affection.
A broken mirror, the bits jab into my eyes. I bled.
I am relieved.
------------

Gruesome and brutal. Too far.  I need sleep.


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