How is it that in a single moment I can go from the verge of sleep, the very edge of sleep, from whence if I fall it will take me to a sweet and glorious slumber, to being wide awake? Wide awake, but still tired mind you, 1000 miles away from the very border of rest which I was only a moment ago, so close to. What happens in these moments, what happens to the neurons in my brain, what do they say to each other to create these extra hours of restlessness for me? Is it a sign? Have I truly not completed my days work? And why so many thoughts- where do all these thoughts come from? The moment my head touches my pillow-THOUGHTSTHOUGHTSTHOUGHTSTHOUGHTS. A lethargic and dreary mind turns into a hyperactive mess of every single event, anecdote, fantasy, or displeasure it could possibly create.
Is it merely that I am an artist? Is it merely that I have stirred my creative juices to the point of continual motion? Did I eat sugar too close to bedtime? Am I overweight? Is this payback for all my rudeness and coldness towards my family? Is there a child dying somewhere in the world who is praying for help, whose prayer isn't reaching God and is interfering with my dream channel? Can that happen? Does God exist? Dogs exist for sure. I have seen many in my time. Small dogs, big dogs, smelly dogs, hairy dogs, hairless dogs, fun dogs, boring dogs, skinny dogs, fat dogs, loving dogs, unhappy dogs- I have seen all of these dogs in my own dog actually. Except the hairless part- oh no wait, they shaved his leg for his surgery, I've seen all of them. Much as I've seen many sides of humanity in each person I've ever encountered, if only in small glimpses. In some people, I've seen the greatest shows of opposites. Ying and yang. Love and indifference. Love and hate. Caring and cruelty. I've seen these in myself as well. And will continue to.
Goodnight.
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